Category Archives: books we’re reading

February’s meeting

In a shocking turn of events, this month was a relatively sober book club. Well, for one person, at least. However, the lack of wine imbibed by the benevolent dictator didn’t dampen the fun. It simply means that my notes are, for once, readable. Whether they make sense or not… we shall see.

This week, we welcomed two new members to the group – Laura and Marta – who quickly got stuck in and offered some great insights into the novel.

Not everyone had an opportunity to finish the book this month, but, we were assured, they didn’t mind about spoilers (which is just as well otherwise the conversation might have been a tad stifled). Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine rocketed into the position of our 2nd favourite book (since we started keeping score), nestled behind Alias Grace and scoring a very respectable 8.3. In fact, the lowest score given to this book was 7. Those who didn’t like the book as much told the group “it’s not a book I’d normally read and I don’t know how to feel about it” and “there were too many loose ends. The ‘romance’ was too much of a stretch.”

Some felt the book was “relatable – not in the sense of abuse and fire, but in the sense of loneliness, of being different, of conforming, of companionship in unexpected places.” The book was “touching”, said one, “it makes you realise that when you open up to the world, the world gives back to you.” Others found the book “eye-opening” and felt it was nice to see “an adult discover life through kindness”.

Naturally, we had to start the conversation with Eleanor. We talked about what our first impressions of her were. How would we treat her if she was in our office? There was a discussion about whether age had to do anything with how judgemental one is. Some people felt that older people were more likely to forgive Eleanor’s flaws as they were more forgiving of their own quirks. Others believed age has nothing to do with being mean – Eleanor wasn’t someone you’d go out of the way to be friends with, but she wasn’t someone who you’d make fun of, either. Some believed that it was older people who were more likely to pass judgement – younger people tending to be a little more liberal in their views and accepting of differences.

Was Eleanor on the spectrum at all? While a couple of the group felt initially, she might be, after discussion, it was clear that while Eleanor had her own ways of doing things, she couldn’t be classified on the autism spectrum – there were too many characteristics shown in the novel which were too unlikely for someone with this form of disorder. While she was uncomfortable with changes in her routine, she actively sought them out once she had made her mind up to. She could happily function in a busy office space and have conversations with strangers. So yes, she was a little odd, but that was only to be expected with her upbringing.

Or was it? We moved the conversation on to that of nature or nurture. Did Eleanor’s childhood make her the way she was, or was she born like that? The group was split. Some felt because Eleanor was able to change in the middle of the novel, while she started in a bad situation it wasn’t in her nature to change, it was too easy to stay where she was. Others pointed out that other children in similar situations behave very differently to Eleanor – she was a really good student at school and functioned well but just couldn’t open up her heart. Some felt that the abuse suffered at the hands of her mother was too much and was bound to have an impact on her personality.

**SPOILER ALERT: if you’ve not read the book, stop reading this post now**

The conversation moved to the twist at the end. Some clever clogs members of the group realised that she had lost her sister early on and realised that she wasn’t really talking to her mother (the giveaway was the fact the phone never rings, apparently). There was a long discussion about the mother and her voice. One member even admitted that she had been “kinder to my children this week because of the book” (pizzas all round!). Did Eleanor realise that her conversations with her mother weren’t real? After conversations with her psychiatrist she makes a conscious decision to “hang up” and stop talking to her mother so maybe it was a later realisation?

We all agreed this book wasn’t a love story. It’s not about Raymond saving Eleanor. It’s about Eleanor saving herself.

Raymond is a friend. A good friend. But a friend. We don’t want it to be a love story – we don’t want them to get together. It seems Raymond agreed with us as he got visibly uncomfortable when Eleanor talks about her man (referring to the musician). Talking about the musician, there were some cracking stories about how we used to follow boys around when we were 13/14/15. It seems Eleanor was at the same stage, just 20 years too late.

We rounded off our session discussing the difference between being alone and being lonely. Can people make decisions to feel a certain way? Can you be happy and lonely? It was a long, interesting, in-depth conversation. Instead of going through it all again, here are some interesting links for you:


And with that, my big book of notes in closed until next month. See you all then!


February’s book: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

This month’s theme was “new beginnings”. This month, therefore, we reading:

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman



Meet Eleanor Oliphant: She struggles with appropriate social skills and tends to say exactly what she’s thinking. Nothing is missing in her carefully timetabled life of avoiding social interactions, where weekends are punctuated by frozen pizza, vodka, and phone chats with Mummy. All this means that Eleanor has become a creature of habit (to say the least) and a bit of a loner.

But everything changes when Eleanor meets Raymond, the bumbling and deeply unhygienic IT guy from her office. When she and Raymond together save Sammy, an elderly gentleman who has fallen on the sidewalk, the three become the kinds of friends who rescue one another from the lives of isolation they have each been living. And it is Raymond’s big heart that will ultimately help Eleanor find the way to repair her own profoundly damaged one.

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine is the story of a quirky yet lonely woman whose social
misunderstandings and deeply ingrained routines could be changed forever—if she can bear to confront the secrets she has avoided all her life. But if she does, she’ll learn that she, too, is capable of finding friendship—and even love—after all.

Other choices this month were:

  • A Good American by Alex George
  • Life After Life by Kate Atkinson
  • What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
  • Britt Marie Was Here by Fredrik Backman